Insomnia in the 1st Century BC

"Oh Mary,

Why did you leave to be with Elizabeth? What has happened? Did the Romans take you for their own, and so now you are ashamed? Mary, we are betrothed to be married... In the eyes of God, we are husband and wife... But what am I to do? The child you bear is not mine. I loved you. I built a house for our family while you were away. I have striven to cast myself as an upright man before the Lord and before His people. How am I supposed to believe you?

HOW?!!?!!!

An Angel. you say an angel came and told you of this child... That the Holy Spirit would manifest the messiah... the very son... of God... in your womb. The God who spoke to Elijah, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Moses, and even Adam... The God whose justice and wrath wiped away Sodom and Gomorrah. The God whose love and mercy delivered his chosen people into the promised land even after they fell away. The God whose holy presence inspires fear in the highest and purist of priests. I am a Carpenter! I don't know the Torah, I don't know the books of the prophets.... You are the daughter of a farmer... A farmer who can barely pay his taxes due to Caesar!

At any moment, even tonight as I lay awake... they could stone you and this "messiah" to death in the streets. You would be called a blasphemer and an adulteress.

I asked your father for your hand because I believed in your propriety and virtue. Look where that got me! If I claim the child, everything I've built my life on will be shattered. Our neighbors will hate us. We will be shunned at temple. My eldest son will not be of my flesh and blood... I face an heir worse than Ishmael!!! But Mary... if I divorce you... Your family will be destroyed. You could be killed. The baby who grows inside you may never see the light of day.

If he is the promised Messiah... I would be condemning all of Israel. If he is the Messiah... could I really kill him?

I am not fit to be the father of a King. A conqueror; a savior... God himself...

You say you have broken no vow... You say that no man has touched you... You say......You say......You Sa----....."

And so, Joseph fell asleep. In his dreams, an angel came to him and gave him release from his fears and anxieties. But in reality, Joseph was human. He must have had his doubts, even after the angel visited.

Mary and Joseph did the hardest thing...

-Wes

Veni, Veni Emmanuel.