Well, its been a few weeks since the LOTR party, and I'm feeling homesick. Not for my nuclear family home, but my home in the church. I've gotten out a bit, to work and Karate, so its not so bad, but an unfortunate amount of time is spent staring at this screen talking to people I wish I could be with and talk to face-to-face. When I'm not doing school, watching tennis, or on the computer.. I'm thinking about how I feel, if its right, if its wrong... Confronting issues that I need to turn over to God. I'm convinced there is no better non-living thing to talk to out here other than the stars. On Sunday night of labor day weekend, I had a little fire down by the lake with my dad.. Good stuff, but when the only thing you hear is nightly noises and the crackling of the fire(and the occasional song on the car stereo from the ipod.) its easy to let your mind work at the pace which fire burns. To enthrall yourself in introspection, and lamentation...
I know this is all going to sound extremely selfish... But, I feel really by myself out here. Its quite possible that that's why I'm on AIM so much. I know I have karate and work, but its so weird just look out the window and see God's creation, but nothing else. Thoughts wander to friends that seem so far away, people I've known who are distant now, my current situation in life. All as a merciless sun beats down on this green earth. *sigh* too much...
Still lots of thinking to do...
-Wes
prose of the night:
the stars, are my companions, my confidants. I may speak as I wish to them and they will not decrease in brightness. They will continue to fill my eyes with heavenly light. As they do for every living thing, regardless of Sin, fate, plan. They will twinkle on, eternally destined to be an object of thought and wonder. But though I may offer my thoughts up to these skyward bodies, I will never receive an answer. They will never console me when I mourn, praise me when I do good, understand what I'm going through. They only float there, as passive mute observer. I take solace in knowing that my friends will be there, through thick and thin. To be more than passive observers. I must rest in knowing God has a plan for me.
-written by me.
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